My Addiction

Me: Hi, my name is Brina. 

Chorus: Hi, Brina!

Me: And I am addicted to Sharpies.  I don’t sniff them.  I collect them.  Even when I have all the colors at home [pauses and dabs eye with tissue] I still want to buy more whenever I go to the store.  I go over and I touch the package. . .  [sobs]

Woman in audience: It’s okay, honey chile!

Me: And sometimes I pick it up and I look at it just to make sure.  And when I was on spring break vacation,  I didn’t bring my Sharpies; so I bought some more.  It was an 8-pack. I really didn’t need them, but I just missed my Sharpies. [cries for a few minutes]

At home, I have a Sharpie chart, where I drew a sample of all the colors and assigned them a number.  I’m so upset that Sharpie doesn’t have a name for the colors . . . [takes a deep sigh]  But I think I have all the colors - about 30 or so.  And I have at least 5 black ones . . . 

But I haven’t bought any since spring break. And I’m committed to not buying anymore until my old ones wear out - and I really need them.  Thank you.

Applause

(reposted from previous blog)