I Want This

I want to be an artist.  I want this.  I want to paint great paintings, and release them like a doting mother into the world.  I like hearing the echo of footsteps in galleries, seeing people cluster around paintings while lithely holding wine glasses in their hands.

However, when I come home from work, having shown others how to release their creativity; I second guess my “I want this.” I’m tired.  I just want to relax.  I don’t want to sit at yet another desk for the rest of the day.  I don’t want to figure out how to manipulate ink.  I’d rather watch television.  And that is the reality.  Behind every dream and passion, are tried and true habits that need to be nurtured.

Creating art can be a lonely enterprise with little instant gratification (as much as blogging about it).  But I’ve got to squeeze this art thing into my schedule, just like I make time for my new beau, the treadmill.  So, I keep scheduling “studio” and “art” on the calendar.  And maybe I can start outsmarting myself by leaving unfinished sketches on the sofa and taped irreverently somewhere so I’m compelled to give them the dignity of completion.

I want this.  The fire is there, and tenacity keeps it kindled.

(reposted from previous blog)